Driving in Afghanistan

They are coming at you at 65 mph, no rules, no laws, driving on the wrong side of the road, can’t see you, and the cars are in bad shape. That’s Afghani traffic, probably one of the worse driving experiences I have ever encountered in my travels.

Driving in Afghanistan is not for the faint of heart, not by a long shot. The “Tapon de Bayamon” is nothing compared to driving here. Driving in Rio Piedras at 5pm on a Viernes Social is nothing. Afghani drivers make our Boricua drivers seem like saints destined for the heavens. Yes, it is that bad!

There are no traffic laws, or at least none that are enforced…well…you need real police to enforce them, for starters. Even though foreign countries are doing a marvelous job at training the Afghan national police, they are still a long way from becoming a law enforcement unit as we know it. And even when the national police is completely trained, the public has to obey them, they have to understand that when a police says stop, it means to bring the vehicle to a complete stop, not slow down and go around him. I say that because I have seen it happen. I have seen a “guardia palito” come out in the middle of the street with a baton and a whistle and attempt to stop traffic, only to have the vehicles go around him.

Since there are no laws, there is not an enforced speed limit, meaning they can drive as fast as their little rickety cars can go, whether it is 80 mph or just 15…it doesn’t matter.

Even if the police gave speeding tickets, how are people going to pay them? They don’t have the money to pay. They don’t even have the money for deodorant…and honestly, I don’t blame them, eating (surviving) should come before personal hygiene.

The vast majority of vehicles in the country are imported mainly from Pakistan, where they drive on the left side of the road, British style, with the steering wheel on the right side of the car, of course. However, in Afghanistan, they drive on the right side of the road. Now this causes a serious problem because the driver sits on the right side of the car and cannot see the vehicles approaching unless he swerves all the way to the left (which they do). And they do this without fear or slowing down. So, for example, you can be driving at a leisure pace, minding your own business and thinking of pasteles or morcillas, when all of the sudden there is a 5 ton truck coming at you dead on, doing 80 mph, on a road that is no more than 10 meters wide!

Next problem is the status of the vehicles in the country. There isn’t a single car that would pass a proper safety inspection, except of course the ex-patriates cars, since they are mostly brand new. I have seen cars with 4 different size tires on, cars with no windshields, cars on top of public buses, and cars on top of cars. I have seen trucks carrying 4 times their maximum loads, buses with camels, sheep, cows and humans on the roof…at the same time! The Afghani vehicles make our “Boricua carcachitas” look like brand new limousines or brand new SUVs.

Another interesting traffic problem is the fact that streets and roads are not only for vehicles, no sir, anyone can use the roads, motorcycles and bicycles (all 10 million of them), pedestrians, mothers with children, pregnant women, cows, sheep herds, chupacabras…anyone…and they do. This makes it very difficult to drive defensively since they haven’t figured out how to put turn signals on cows and other animals.

And if you want to talk about road rage, take in consideration the fact the 90% of the drivers have weapons! In Puerto Rico you might get yelled at or at worse you might get the finger…here you get the muzzle of an AK-47 assault rifle pointed at you.

 No, driving in Afghanistan takes you to another level; it will raise your blood pressure faster than eating 10 lbs of morcillas. I rather bicycle down el Yunque on a hot day on a bike with no brakes, after drinking 10 Medallas and a half bottle of Don Q, than drive in Afghanistan…yet we all did.